spoliamag:

Bees are the smallest of birds. They are born from the bodies of oxen, or from the decaying flesh of slaughtered calves; worms form in the flesh and then turn into bees. Bees live in community, choose the most noble among them as king, have wars, and make honey. Their laws are based on custom, but the king does not enforce the law; rather the lawbreakers punish themselves by stinging themselves to death. Bees are afraid of smoke and are excited by noise. Each has its own duty: guarding the food supply, watching for rain, collecting dew to make honey, and making wax from flowers.”

From a medieval bestiary.

(Reblogged from crascras)

One last email before we go

Dear poonface, whatever that means, but you seem to believe it is the ultimate insult. I hope you are at home and happy. I hope the roof over your face is strong. I hope the ceiling separating you from your staunch roof is decorated with plaster roses or geometric patterns, and the single light hangs from a cord extending like an infinite stamen from a circular motif symbolising the sun, the one true source of all energy and light upon this earth. Notice the lowercase e in earth and the use of the determiner this. I am not  implying that our planet is one among many earths, I am declaiming it and to you I am revealing it as a truth. Thus my hopes for your strong roof. Not that any roof could be made strong enough for what will presently occur, which is the collision of this earth, our earth, with their earth. Their earth is careening through time, space and interdimensionalities because their scientists tapped a power they misunderstood. The scientists are now dead as is everyone else on their earth, along with the animals, the plants and just everything. We, too, will all die shortly. Only a few know this. I am telling you because I hate you and it makes me happy to tell you. I am so happy that you will die young and scared and unmourned.  This will make my own death and the end of clever, foolish, beautiful, earnest humanity easier to face. Just wanted to get that off my chest. We’re all about to lose, but, as you watch the shockwave race towards you as their still accelerating planet comes into contact with our atmosphere, I hope you have time to remember that in the end I won, you petty fucking asshole shit dick fuck fuck.

He woke up feeling terrible. At about 10am he threw up an entire girl. It was awkward for both of them.

She called him an asshole, so he flipped her the birds.

She called him an asshole, so he flipped her the birds.

Using animals in laboratory tests is immoral.

Astronaut Club
∞

Astronaut Club

They aren’t chem trails, they are sun trails. At dawn and dusk, when the sun is low, planes with special scoops skim over the surface of the sun, filling huge tanks with raw, undiluted light. When it is required, they criss-cross the skies, dumping their cargo of light, brightening the air and the day. The dispersing light leaves behind wisps of scorched air, forming the grey bands seen in the sky.

They aren’t chem trails, they are sun trails. At dawn and dusk, when the sun is low, planes with special scoops skim over the surface of the sun, filling huge tanks with raw, undiluted light. When it is required, they criss-cross the skies, dumping their cargo of light, brightening the air and the day. The dispersing light leaves behind wisps of scorched air, forming the grey bands seen in the sky.

We finally got into space using long poles.

We finally got into space using long poles. They had a hook on the end. Someone would help you get the hook into the belt loop, the back of the suspenders, sometimes even a proper harness, of the space farer, because that hook was a long way from the lifting end of the pole. Then, alley-oop, up they went, dangling and kicking and laughing as you hoisted them up into space. No-one kicked to much, though. They didn’t want to fall off and hit the ground with a life ending thud. Once you had the pole vertical the space farer was high enough up that they just had to give a little kick or make a little swimming motion with their arms and they were free and up in space. There was a platform up there, like a big, scientific version of a pontoon platform you find in a lake that supports recreational activities. Some space farers sit there for quite while, waving at their friends down on earth, looking at the bright stars, wiggling their toes in space. I think they are just nervous. Eventually everyone does the big jump off the platform and starts swimming to the moon, or to Mars. There isn’t really anywhere else to go, but it is still quite a thing to be able to say you swam to Mars, and it’s a nice planet and all, but it’s no Earth.

We’re making train travel more exciting. We can’t compete with rollercoasters yet, but we’ll get there. Today we’re charging a premium for travel on these tracks where we have installed these chicanes. We’ll roll that money into building banked turns. High speed banked turns. Passengers will be looking out their windows at either the sky or the ground. It will blow their minds. That experience will drive a lot of new customers, plus merchandising, licensing, you know how it goes. Then we use the cashflow to take the next step: loops. We’ll put a trial loop between Boston and New York. It’ll be a hit, no doubt. Then BAM! Loops everywhere. Everyone wants to catch a train. Cha-ching.

Smart money is investing in water parks.

Smart money is investing in water parks.

Quality furniture has always been dear.
∞

Quality furniture has always been dear.

There are no dead ends, only standing starts.

There are no dead ends, only standing starts.

You are filling your head with garbage.

You are filling your head with garbage.

Of course there is a special place in hell for children.
∞

Of course there is a special place in hell for children.

She wanted peace more than anyone.

She wanted peace more than anyone.